“The only thing that ultimately matters is to live a life of meaning, a life that matters.” Margie Warrell – author/speaker. “What matters most is the impact you have on others” Nelson Mandela.
Let’s try to decide how these admonitions apply to us. Is it our attitude? Our successes in business? Is it love, giving, friendships?
How do we know if our lives have mattered? People of a certain age surely ponder this. And when it’s all said and done, what will the final tally say about you?
From a Humanistic standpoint, it’s the question of “why are we here?”
These thoughts come at any age but when we get to our 50s and 60s and beyond, they become particularly poignant and at times depressing. We crave purpose and meaning. Yet even with successes in life, we often feel we could have done more. Looking back, our perception can fool us into thinking we failed. I have suffered from this feeling too often.
Throughout my life I’ve had a plethora of dreams and goals that resulted in too many unfulfilled promises. There was the “Mitten Rack” glove dryer I designed and sold that ultimately fizzled out. And my ergonomic computer keyboard design that I simply couldn’t sell. Then there were the books I wrote that, statistically speaking, no one read. And that’s just the short list. Did these indicate my life had no meaning? Did failures make me a failure?
And what does the future hold? Can I still find ways to matter? What about you? Have you had similar doubts? My guess is yes, even if your life experiences differ. We all have bouts of hopelessness and worthlessness that push us into depressing thoughts. But, there is hope and that is what we’ll explore here.
Philosophers Share Their Wisdom
Let’s explore some notable philosophers on the subject of purpose and meaning. I’ll paraphrase their contentions that living with purpose and meaning lead to living a life that matters. I think you’ll find, like I did, ideas that resonate with you.
Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, felt our purpose was to “live the good life.” He called it eudaimonia. He inferred the need to live up to our potential and flourish. It was important to be comfortable and happy. How? Largely by using our strengths and talents. He also believed in a virtuous life of courage, honesty and kindness. Ultimately, he didn’t just espouse the seeking of pleasure but of making worthwhile contributions in order to find meaning.
I like that. But, are my contributions to the world worthwhile?
Next up, Friedrich Nietzsche, the renowned German philosopher. His view involved more of a struggle and striving for greatness. One may have innate talents and powers but without vigorous training and improvement it just wasn’t enough. Aim high, push hard, embrace and defeat the challenges that come your way. Only then can you say you lived a life that mattered.
I can relate to that in many ways. I was a striver. But now I tend to feel saddened that there were too many times I never caught the brass ring. Looking back through Nietzsche’s lens reminds me too much of my failures. There’s much more to Nietzsche’s approach but I wanted to keep searching.
Perhaps the Frenchman Jean-Paul Sarte can help. He saw each human being as having the freedom to craft his or her own destiny and bear complete responsibility to actually matter in this world. One doesn’t have to abide by any cosmic script or external force or rule-book.
In a way this can be liberating. You’re taking the reins! However, this can be scary. It can feel like a lonely and tiring struggle, swimming hard upstream. No external “power” to throw you a lifesaver when needed. It’s like he’s saying if you’re not winning, you’re a loser. Yikes, it’s like he knows me! But this describes the younger, ambitious, competitive me, not the more mature, reflective me.
So I kept looking and decided to see what America’s leading philosopher had to say. William James had his own interpretation of meaning and mattering in life. He was in favor of honoring your natural talents and passions as opposed to forced physical and mental struggles. His approach more closely adheres to “it’s the journey not the destination.”
Embracing Our Passions
Honor your journey. Meaning is born out of action. Meaning isn’t to be discovered as much as it’s to be uncovered through the unencumbered pursuit of your passions. The final point I’d make about James is his admonition to engage and embrace life now, while you have it. Give the present moment all your attention through action and by doing so you’ve created your meaning. You don’t have to find it!
After my research, I concluded there’s a little bit of Aristotle in me, a little bit of Nietzsche and a bit of Sarte. Perhaps you find it’s true for you as well. But I think William James offers me the best way to honor my past and the most hope for a full life moving forward. And how we move forward in life applies to us all.
Our lives aren’t only a compilation of failures and successes but attempts to stay active and involved with our fellow beings. We create and have created value with our actions, and meaning through our journeys.
So, were we failures? Are we now? I say no! Did we have lots of stops and starts along the way? Likely. Mistakes? Of course. But none of us live in total isolation. We touched people’s lives over and over. When Aristotle spoke of “worthwhile contributions” he would urge his students to interact with the community, master a personal craft, spread joy, uplift people’s spirits. I’m confident we all did just that. To me, that’s a pretty darn good answer to the “why” of life.
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” Mark Twain.
Let’s let Twain, William James, Nelson Mandela, Margie Warrell and other thinkers empower us to stay active and pursue our current passions. Let’s touch people’s lives and focus on the journey. Let’s view our lives in a positive light and embrace the days ahead with an optimism that colors every path we take.
Take heart. You and I do matter!
