Make Every Mood, Every Moment Count
There are times when life delivers one challenge after another. Just when we think we have a handle on things, life sends a surprise. It doesn’t seem to play fair.
I admit, my optimism can be displaced without warning.
F. Scott Fitzgerald agrees: “Isn’t it enough to drive one mad, this constant, inconsistent business of being alive?” And Charles Schultz takes it a step further with “Life is a series of near misses and misfortunes.”
I could debate those claims, but today I don’t want to focus on life’s biggest challenges. Since we’re talking about life and its complexities I thought it best to first address the elephant in the room. We’ll tackle life’s biggest problems another day.
What counts as “major traumas” (death, money issues, etc.) is subjective but our day to day lives are largely free of them. I can’t find any specific studies to support this claim but ancillary stats tend to agree.
I suggest that up to 99% of daily life in any given time frame is more or less routine. And we have immense power and control over most of that routine – at least as far as how we view it and deal with it.
But, we have to exercise that power. My focus today is on the mundane, routine, neutral moments we tend to overlook. And also on the joyful and loving moments that come along but then tend to leave before we’ve given them the appreciation they deserve. Good, bad, or indifferent, they can all enrich our lives far more than we realize.
Lessons and life enhancements exist in every turn of life’s journey; our learning, our mistakes, our interactions, our leisure and the moods they create. What can we see and glean from these? The famous French novelist Marcel Proust suggests “the real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”
“New eyes – not new landscapes,” I like that a lot. Growth and happiness don’t require major life changes. What it takes is new eyes to experience life in a different way. In this post I’ll show how I try to capitalize on every experience and all of life’s moods.
I want to “make every mood count.”
The Good, the Bad, and the Mundane
Too often we waste opportunities that could enrich our lives. Thoughtless conclusions and knee jerk reactions remove us from the moment. Moments, good and bad, that have the capability of enhancing our lives and growing our value. Moments where “mindfulness” could set us up for brighter and better days.
Mindfulness is the simple act of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It’s being aware of our thoughts, moods and surroundings/events at all times. And it’s the foundation for my proposal.
They say that we can learn more from our mistakes than from our successes. I suppose that is true. But, why wait for mistakes? That would be a terrible waste of opportunities. The ones most of us overlook. I’m referring to opportunities for happiness, self-improvement, learning, and confidence. With mindfulness we multiply our learning situations immeasurably.
I began my dedicated self-improvement journey more than fifty years ago. And I’m still after it. With the wisdom of years, my efforts are a bit different now. As a mature adult I now see potential in everything I experience.
I don’t claim to know the ins and outs of mindfulness and other meditation practices. And I don’t have any special training concerning psychological techniques, behavioral methods, or self awareness. But sharing my experiences might help. And I think that as we age, it becomes even more important to recognize and utilize opportunities at every turn.
What follows is a list of some of the moods, actions, and situations that I try to use for self improvement. You could say it’s the “little stuff.” Major Holidays or family events, weddings, funerals, marriage and divorce, all excluded here. These at times lead to the “major traumas” referenced earlier and are discussions for another time.
The list below certainly isn’t earth shattering. But, that’s exactly the point. The list represents the “little stuff” that “new eyes” can refocus on to reveal value we never saw before. It gives you a good sense of what I’m after. Do you relate to any? Try thinking of others that seem to come up for you often.
After the list, I’ll pick just a few (both positive and negative) to demonstrate how I use them for growth and inspiration.
- Planned and unplanned walks in town or in nature
- Body aches, pains, and weakness – even the chronic ones
- A sudden happy mood – actually any mood at all
- A conversation with a friend or stranger
- Bad encounters or bad news
- Glancing at a mirror – or mirrors in general
- A racing mind, an event, or a song that replays endlessly in your head
- Analyzing something to death
- Waiting in line at the grocery store or anywhere there’s a wait
- Arguing with the unreasonable clerk at the Department of Motor Vehicles
- Gazing at the sunrise, sunset or Half Dome at Yosemite
- Misplacing your keys
- A hug from a friend
Nature (and other) walks: Every morning before the dawn’s sunrise I put on my headphones, Spotify and take Circadian Rhythm Dance walks alone. Your circadian rhythm is your body’s connection to day and night and its internal clock that regulates things like hunger, sleep, energy and such. Mine are country walks before anyone else is out there. It’s a walk/dance to the rhythm of the music.
Some mornings my body pains try to dissuade me. Usually I can’t wait to get out there and “dance.” If I’m in pain, I allow myself to feel the pain, to be “with” it – while also rising above it. And I smile. When my body feels better I let the music, the dance, and the rising sun propel me even more deeply into the moment for a long lasting effect.
Explained and unexplained moods: Good moods are easy to deal with. Yet even when in a good mood I like to find ways for them to take me even higher. I don’t want to question why I’m feeling it. While with me, I treat it as a blessing without expectations. I honor it and release it when it passes and a beautiful imprint remains.
Bad moods can have obvious beginnings at times and at other times they just arise from nowhere. If I know the cause I’ll try to let it go. If it’s a mystery – so be it. Bad moods teach me tolerance, acceptance and patience. When the bad mood lets go of me, the growth and self-awareness remain.
Stuck in a crowd or in line: My first thought is “let me out of here” or “why did I choose to do this?” Hopefully I’ll catch myself and turn it into a positive. I’ll imagine that I’m someone that others have been dying to see or talk to. I’ll stand up straighter, taller, and with an open countenance.
Suddenly I’m present and one with my surroundings including the people around me. The wait is now a positive thing and the good mood stays with me.
Mirrors: The older we get the more we tend to see mirrors as necessary evils. The image that glances back at us can be scary. When that happens I’ll often say something like: “Hello Dad, gosh you’re looking good today!” Then I’ll straighten “his” color, comb “his” hair, or just nod as I walk on by.
Sometimes I’m already feeling great and I’ll pause at the mirror and congratulate myself for the positive vibes I’m emitting. “Gosh, look at that smile and that posture! Good job, buddy!”
Overanalyzing: As a thinker and pseudo philosopher there are times I drive my wife a bit bonkers dissecting life and its challenges. Hopefully I’ll catch myself before getting too carried away. Then other times I see her eyes crossing while I pontificate. Even my excited tones no longer seem to inspire.
“Oh my God … listen to me!” I’ll think or even say aloud. A few chuckles and a self-deprecating joke or two and I switch into mindfulness, letting awareness wash over me. So even with diarrhea of the brain, lessons are learned as I return to the present moment. It’s good to realize I’m really not all that brilliant!
Gazing at sunsets: Easy, right? Sure, but appreciating sunsets or starry nights offer more. At those times I’ll “hear” Neil DeGrass Tyson claiming we are stardust. I’ll allow myself to be buoyed by my environment. I’ll find myself breathing in more life and walking on air.
Misplacing my keys: Whether wanting to get to a meeting on time or pick someone up or catch a plane – lost keys can create a frantic scramble. What a great opportunity! The anxiety and tension can be great teachers even when I don’t handle the situation well. And when I do handle it well I’ll pause and try to think of past lessons that allowed me to reach this state of calm self-awareness and mindfulness.
Magic in the Mundane
It sometimes amazes me how small an effort it takes to switch into mindfulness. And it’s just as amazing how it leads to better experiences and better days. And hopefully to a better me. I don’t want to say it’s easy to do but the effort is small. Becoming present, even in these “little” situations takes practice, not struggle.
I try not to see any of these as battles. I don’t use self-disciplined power moves. No. It’s about a conscious awareness, a mindfulness. I just want to keep forward momentum and treat life as a series of events for learning and enjoyment. And it eventually becomes a habit.
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” Albert Einstein said in a letter to his son. He could have added this proverb from Confucius: “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”
Whatever mood or situation you’re in, you can capitalize on it, enhance it and cement it in. You can build confidence, or heal a wound, or build your posture, or whatever. Don’t let any thought, mood, feeling, situation, or pain, go to waste!
Are you ready? This is your moment, your LIFE. Take some time now to list your more common situations, moods, and actions where your opportunities abound. Then it won’t be long at all before you have the chance to be mindful and make that moment count.
I think you’ll find the magic in the mundane.
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” Maya Angelou.
